A Christian For The Legalizing Of Gay Marriage...Read On

On July 24, 2011, the State of New York will begin recognizing gay marriage as a legal institution. Hooray for them. The rest of the states need to get on board.

This issue of gay marriage has Christians in an uproar, and quite frankly I think it's ridiculous--for the Christians to be in an uproar. I know many of my Christian family and friends will try to pull my Christian card on  this one, but thank GOD it's not theirs to pull. My goal here is not to offend but to simply inform. I have my reasons why I hold the view I hold. I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind on the issue, I'm just stating my defense of gay marriage as a Christian. 

Okay...here we go:

Marriage in the eyes of the State and marriage in the eyes of God are two totally different things. I repeat two totally different things. Marriage under the God of the Bible implies one man and one woman in Christ making a permanent, life-long covenant to one another in the presence of God and witnesses on God's terms and allows that man and woman full access to the physical and spiritual benefits that the institution of marriage has to offer. It does not require a marriage license, a preacher, a church, or the consent of anyone but the two making the covenant. Marriage under the State simply allows certain financial and civil benefits to a couple who has agreed to be together under their own terms. 

Notice this key difference of the two that will serve as the foundation of my argument: One is under God and on His terms. The other is under the State and on your own terms. 

Here's how this works:

Because I'm married to Jeff under the State law, he can have my social security, Medicare, and access to my retirement benefits should I pass away. Should he take ill, I can file for an FMLA leave on my job to go and be by his side. If he is incapacitated, I also have the legal right to make medical decisions on his behalf. He can share in my inheritance and we will both benefit from the various marital discounts given by many insurance companies. 

These are all rights that cannot be obtained by a couple unless they are recognized by the State as married. So can someone please tell me why a citizen of this country should be denied these civil rights just because they are attracted to the same sex? THESE ARE ISSUES OF EQUALITY IN CIVIL RIGHTS; NOT FAITH.

America is not a Christian country but a country founded on Christian principles (which are nothing more than good morals which every major religion teaches). One of America's founding purposes was for religious freedom of all. America is not a theocracy. It is a democracy with a separation of church and state in full effect; therefore, the State has no right to cosign the Christian belief that homosexuality is wrong (i.e. sin).

With all of that said, I don't believe the State has the right to reject a same sex couple the benefits of a State recognized marriage. As citizens of this country, they should be given the same rights as any other citizen of this country regardless of sexual orientation. So, if the State wants to "protect" what they believe is the sanctity of marriage, it is left with one of the following choices: a.) relinquish the use of a license in order for couples receive the benefits of marriage and allow every couple those rights. b.) relinquish the practice of separation of Church and State, become a theocracy and adopt Christianity as the State religion, and ban homosexuality (i.e. make it illegal and enforce it). These are the only choices that the State would have in order to "define" and "protect" marriage.

Now, as a Christian, I don't understand how my fellow Christian can be against gay marriage, yet not fight against atheists, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, agnostics, and any other practicing religion's parishioner's right to be married under the State. If State marriage is sacred and under God then anyone who is not in Christ should not be allowed to file for a marriage license and get married. Do we simply give them a pass because they are one man and one woman?  Does the gender factor make the marriage more pleasing in God's eye sight? I stand on a firm ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! 

So what constitutes a marriage to God? I know a heterosexual couple who has a State marriage license on file but are "legally separated" and living in two different homes. Are they still married under God? Is the marriage license the only thing that qualifies a couple married under God? I stand on a firm ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!

Sin is sin in God's eyes and we can't rate it based on what grosses us out more. So how can I be tolerant of one sinner's marriage and not the other's? Do you see the inconsistencies? Can you honestly reconcile those inconsistencies with any truth?

To be clear, I believe that God sets the standard for sin and according to His inspired Scriptures, homosexuality is sin...but so is recognizing any god other than the God of the Bible. So, if I am going to be against homosexual marriage then I have to be against ANY and EVERY non-Christian marriage. I understand that marriage under God has nothing to do with the State, and I don't believe that God honors State licenses just as he doesn't honor any marriage that is not in Christ. I believe that He honors the covenant between two people who have agreed to that covenant on His terms; therefore, He has something to hold us accountable to. If we are really truthful, I know a lot of people who identify themselves as Christians but are not married under His terms. They're married under their own terms and as soon as their spouse does something against the terms they've set, they're out of there. Forget forgiveness and grace...But that's another post for another day.

The bottom line is this: I fully support the separation of Church and State, and I don't believe that anyone (or the State) has the right to deny a citizen any civil rights based on their own faith. Marriage as it relates to the Christian is a spiritual institution by God and under God and does not even apply to those who are not in Christ, whether they are same sex or not, so Christians why do you feel so threatened? The gospel is NOT a bully and doesn't desire to control people with a bunch of silly laws neither does it control the matters of the State. The gospel is a matter of faith governs the Kingdom of God, not the State or any other earthly law. I cannot impose my faith on all Americans and say, "Your definition of marriage must match mine or it cannot be recognized by the State," just like I can't force a non-Christian to behave like a Christian (go ahead and try it and see how far that gets you). That is unlawful and goes against the very freedom this country was founded upon.

I feel blessed to be a part of a country where I am free and have a decent set of civil rights. Therefore, I support any American citizen who is fighting for equal civil rights.

Afterthought: It's funny how the Christians who are at the forefront of this issue are not fighting for divorce to be eradicated, even among their own kind... but again, that's another post for another day.

Feel free to engage in friendly, adult conversation with me about this topic. I will not be disrespected and I will not tolerate any comments that do not seek to inform or explain points of view in the owner's opinion. I am not interested in engaging if you don't have an open discussion frame of mind. If you don't want to post on the blog, feel free to email me at jamercadel@gmail.com or jamercadel@facebook.com.

A Burden of My Heart

I need your help--your input, your prayers, your suggestions, and your ideas.

There is a great big burden on my heart for the homeless men and women, prostitutes, and drug addicts of Dallas, TX. I want so desperately to serve them in ways that will benefit them now and for eternity. I work in South Dallas, so I am constantly confronted with the horrid images of a once beautiful woman who has lost her beauty in the abuse-laden, drug inflicted, sexcapades of the hard knock life that has become hers. When I see her walking out of that raunchy, begrimed motel looking disheveled and ashamed, I wonder what drove her there in the first place. Was it the insatiable need for drugs? Was it her hungry children back at home? Was it the disdain and perceived worthlessness of the image that stares back at her in the mirror? I don't know. But I want to.

Sometimes I lock eyes with men who roam the streets with rags and bags filled with hopelessness, disenfranchisement, faithlessness, and destitution, knowing that it's all they own. How did they get to that point? Maybe life has dealt them a bad hand. Perhaps the choices they made in life led them down this path. It's possible that some mental disability left them with no other alternative. I don't know for sure. But I want to.

I roll past young brothers who are alienated from life and floating on a cloud higher than 9 induced by the crippling effects of black tar heroin, crack cocaine, handlebars, Ecstasy, "drank," and various liquors. Why did they choose this life instead of one of good citizenship and positive contributions to society. I don't really know the answer. But I really want to.

I think about these people often and fantasize about their lives, but I have yet to do anything on a consistent basis to help them. I have done a few outreaches that have lasted a day or two, but I want much more than that. I want to develop relationships with these men and women and help them to understand the glorious treasure that is Jesus Christ and the wonderful simplicity of a warm friendship. Many of these people have no contact with their family and don't have people who they can depend on. However, I often wonder if I can really help them. I wonder if they will receive what I want to offer. How can I go down there, offer this message of grace, love, and redemption to these people, and then go back home to my cozy, suburban-city home? How do I preach to them about the Jesus who has saved me and given me the life I have without stirring in them feelings that somehow suggest that Jesus loves me more because of my many earthly blessings? How can I come across as genuine help if I am not able to alleviate them of their earthly sorrows? I don't know...

And these wonderings arrest a my feet. Are these legitimate concerns? How do I move past them?

A New Church in Dallas????

My good friend, Lionel Woods, posted this blog this morning. This is something that his family and my family are desperately wanting to pull together for the glory of God in Christ. Please respond on this blog or his with interest of coming alongside our two families to plant this type of church.

Anybody In Dallas Interested In Planting A Church Like This???

Jan 14

1. Rented Facility: Instead of owning a parcel of land, we rent a recreation center or do an annual sublease through a church that does own land. We could meet in this rented location for a year. Our small groups would meet in homes. We would equip them to make disciples in their own neighborhoods but we meet collectively every Sunday in a place where we could have a few talented musicians volunteer or receive voluntary donations for their work for the Lord. The renting would provide us some flexibility to move around different neighborhoods as we grow and the Lord directs our path.

2. Participatory Sermons: This wouldn’t have to happen every time as there are times and maybe even series that demand a monologue. However, most of the messages would be participatory. Where others can testify of God’s goodness, ask questions and even apply personal application as this is the purpose of teaching anyway. Not to just inform but mostly to transform. So messages where others are invited to share not only encourages the church it also allows other a voice when the church meets.

3. Collections As Needed: Here is what I am thinking here. We have people who join help commit to the overhead cost of renting the facility and then any other collections would be made on an as need basis. If people would like to do their regular giving at the church because they just can’t find one needy person, then we would have our tax exemption to provide others with that type of freedom.

4. Unpaid Leadership/Staff: Now this is the tough one, but one I think is important. I look at Paul’s words in Acts 20 to the elders before he is headed off and he informs them to work with their own hands and to be a blessing to others. This would mean those who are in leadership are balancing work, ministry and family just like every other Christian in the congregation and they can be Godly examples for God’s sheep.

If you are interested in a church like that, let me know. I know it can be done and I think such a church could spark a movement of more church plants similar to it. We are currently looking for a church home and would love one with such a model. I probably know someone else who would so there is at least two families interested.

Current State Of Mind

Love
Wash over me
Pride
You must flee
Lord
Give me eyes to see
Jesus
You are my Great Relief
Holy Spirit
Rest, rule, and abide in me
Trust
My heart seems to elude thee
Hope
I'm calling to you, answer please
Faith
Usher in love
So it can wash over me

Reflections of Regenerate Mommy's Heart

Surely you've noticed I've been gone, right? Well, for good reason...I HAD A BABY!!!! Most of you know about the difficult journey getting to this point (if not read all the posts tagged infertility here and on my other blog), and now my long awaited prayer is finally here!

Evan was born on October 29th at 6lbs 15oz. I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on him I fell instantly in love. He was perfect in every way. I was in awe that I was finally looking at him after carrying him for exactly 9 months (he was born on this due date!). All of the prayers, the tears, the struggles, and the emotions had been for that very moment. As I looked at my son, I thought about God. I thought about how incredibly gracious and loving He is to give me the desire of my heart. I thought about the fact that He has always known that moment would come, even when I didn't. I thought about how He answered my prayer on purpose and how this was not some chance happening of the universe or biology....

Here is this brand new baby, this person, that God has entrusted to me for a time to nurture, love, and shape his little heart and point it toward the Father Himself. He didn't give me this baby just for me; This baby belongs to Him, first and foremost. I have a responsibility, a duty even, to raise him with an awareness of God and impart to him the truth of the gospel as the saving grace of his life. This awareness and impartation doesn't happen by word alone. It happens by example, by living the implications of the gospel every single day of my life in front of this child. This raises the stakes of my integrity tremendously. My son will be watching my every move and listening to my every word. My life (along with my husband's) will be his guiding light. It will be his first introduction to what it truly means to be a Christian, and it will weigh heavily on his view of God and how he is to relate to Him.

These are no small marbles to play with. I pray daily for the grace and wisdom needed to guide such a precious life. It's scary knowing that I will not be perfect and I will mess up sometimes, but it how I handle the mess ups will have a far greater effect on my son than the mess ups themselves. I hope that my son will not look for perfection but will see a life poured out as an offering to God, committed to obedience and love. I want my son to have something that I did not have as a child: the right picture of grace and to view God as the loving father He is. This is the greatest challenge of my life, and I look forward to taking this journey along with my husband and watching its effects unfold in the life of my precious baby boy.

Is There A Such Thing As "General" Prophetic Encouragement

Over the last 10-15 years or so, I have noticed that Christianity has seen a rise in inspiration and what I call "general prophetic encouragement." I coined this term to describe such phrases as "the whole body of Christ is getting ready to walk into a new season," "The Lord has promised [believers] that our best days and our blessed days are ahead of us," and "The body of Christ has been sowing (not just money) long enough, the Lord wants us to know that it is harvest time." I say that they are prophetic because people say it's a "word from the Lord" and it's supposed to come into fruition. From the music to the sermons, believers have invested heavily in this notion of general prosperity (not just health and wealth but mostly circumstances) for all believers.

Can we really do this? Can we prophetically claim circumstances to be true for all believers?

What if (as we can clearly see in some people's lives) this is a season of suffering, devastation, and loss AND they never come out of it? What if they are diagnosed with the terminal disease and never recover? What if they lose everything in this down economy and never regain what they lost? How does that affect the prophetic encouragement meant for all believers? Do these types of circumstances make the prophecy false?

We are all called to encourage one another, no doubt, but I think that we have to be really careful when say the Lord has given us something for "whole body of Christ." I even dare say we have to be careful with general prophetic encouragements that go out from the pulpits of our local church. If you are a part of a church where most of the people don't even know each other or particularly the person shelling out the prophecy does not have a personal relationship with the people he/she is prophetically encouraging, discern very carefully what they are saying.

I have seen this kind of encouragement ruin people's faith and lives because they believed something that was never meant to be true for them. I have seen people involved with this type of church ministry for years and they are STILL waiting for their new season or their breakthrough to come, and it just breaks my heart because they really trusted that the person's words and have somehow tethered it to their own faith, believing that if they stop waiting for this season/breakthrough it means they don't trust God.

There may be times in your walk and in your relationship with others that words of prophetic encouragement will come and speak directly to your situation and provide you with peace and comfort. I strongly believe that the Holy Spirit inside of you will bear witness to those things and they WILL come into fruition. However, we should all feel free to encourage EVERY believer to remain steadfast in the faith and never waiver. We should encourage EVERY believer to keep Christ first and keep the gospel at the center of their being. And lastly, we should encourage EVERY believer to love as Christ has called us to love, promote unity amongst ourselves, and continue to mature and strive for perfection in Christ.

Be encouraged!

Learning How To Preach?

I walked into someone's office the other day and noticed a book on their desk entitled, The Elements of Preaching. I went to Amazon to get a synopsis of the book and it read,

In a practical, no-nonsense approach, this book spells out the basic preaching principles as well as the prohibitions that will help sharpen and focus the skills of every pastor and pulpit speaker.

What could that mean? What are the basic preaching principles? What are they basing these principles on (last time I checked Scripture doesn't teach any principles of preaching)? Is not preaching the proclaiming of the gospel of Jesus Christ? Why would someone need to be taught "prohibitions and that will sharpen and focus their skills" to proclaim that Jesus is Lord?

Anyone who's ever shopped Amazon knows that when you look up one product they recommend similar products, and there was a WHOLE GAMBIT of books recommended on "how to preach." This deeply disturbed me as it is a tell-tale sign that we as Western Christians have gotten so far removed from the simplicity of the gospel that we can no longer rely on the Holy Spirit to empower us to proclaim Christ. We must rely on nifty tips of eloquent speech and tricks of sermon organization and voice modulation to aid in our proclamation. In fact, we have become married to the idea that the only person who can "preach" is a clergyman/clergywoman, forgetting that we are ALL called to preach Christ crucified!

This is a sad reality in churches across the globe. I leave you with Paul's words from 1Corinthians 2:1-5:

When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

Why For One And Not The Other, Lord?

For the past 10 months, I have been following the diagnosis and journey of a popular The Village Church's pastor, Matt Chandler (google him for background knowledge). He was diagnosed with a rare and often fatal cancerous brain tumor that could have claimed his life without him having one sign or symptom. No headaches. No sickness. Nothing. God's grace allowed him to experience a random seizure last year on Thanksgiving, which led to the discovery and diagnosis of the tumor. He has gone through surgery, several rounds of chemotherapy, and radiation to cure this disease, and again by God's grace, this week his wife announced that the Lord has chosen to heal Matt.

Yesterday, popular gospel artist, Marvin Sapp, lost his wife to recurring colon cancer. There aren't a lot of details released about this tragedy, but from what I have pieced together from different reports, she previously had colon cancer but went into remission....only to have it resurface very recently, ultimately taking her life.

There are some blaring similarities in both cases. Matt Chandler and MaLinda Sapp are Christians. They are loving spouses. They are parents of young children. They labored intently for the gospel. They were carried by the prayers of MANY saints. They aimed to live well despite the grim prognoses, and BOTH believed God for a complete healing. However, one was healed and the other was not.

One cannot begin to understand the mind of God or His sovereignty. It is totally futile to even try, but it doesn't stop me from wondering sometimes, Why for one and not the other, Lord? I know that God doesn't love one person more than another, and there is certainly no merit in our level or quantity of works that would make Him choose one over the other. The only thing we can attribute His decision to IS his sovereignty.

Undoubtedly, Matt's healing has and will continue to strengthen the faith of many, and surely his family and fellow saints are rejoicing in answered prayer. There is a reason God chose to heal Matt, and the world may never know. But one thing we DO KNOW is that God IS good and DOES good. Many people would like to think that good is relative to our understanding of what WE perceive as good, but it's not. God is good and His sovereignty ALWAYS acts in the interest of good.

As much as we desire God to choose life for us and our loved ones, the fact of the matter is that earthly life may not always be in God's good will, as in the case of our sister, MaLinda Sapp. There is a reason God did not choose to heal MaLinda, and the world may never know. But we can rest assured IN CHRIST and in our limited understanding that her death was a part of God's good work. Even in the face of death, there is triumph for the Christian because eternity with Jesus is right on the other side of life. To be sure, loved ones will grieve and miss the dearly departed but those who are in Christ are also rejoicing in the fact that faith will become a reality for their beloved. Blessed be the good and perfect will of God.

Be encouraged ;)

Accountability in the Body of Christ

Accountability is not a hot topic in the Body of Christ. One major reason for that, in my opinion, is because it rarely exists. We have become so private in our own personal space and have erected barriers to keep people from getting in, from knowing the "real" us. At best, our spouses or significant others are the only ones who know the "real" us because we know that there's not much we can hide from those who know us most intimately. At worst, we gloss over our own sin and comfort ourselves with the all too familiar, "Nobody's perfect. We all struggle with something, and I'll just pray about it in my personal prayer time," or "I don't want anybody in my business. I'm a private person," when in reality, as Christians, we don't really get that option.

The New Testament is littered with "accountability" talk. We are constantly admonished to pray for one another, encourage one another, and bear with one another. This language is not compatible with a group of people who choose to live unto themselves in their own bubbles. In fact, it won't support such a choice. This language is only compatible with a people living in community, under the ordinance of God, under the New Covenant.

Simply put, accountability keeps us from living in sin. Confessing our sins one to another is a sure-fire way to live in the freedom and truth as provided by the gospel so that we can experience uninterrupted, guiltless fellowship with our Saviour King, Jesus Christ. If we were honest with ourselves, sin grows and breeds exponentially when we are left to the accountability of our own selves and is THE number cause of separation of fellowship with Christ. Sin requires that we remain private and put on airs of a thriving spiritual life while it keeps us bound.

So with that said, living privately is not an option for a true believer. We must be willing to share our burdens with other believers so that we can receive the help we need to be free from sin's grasp. I leave with this from the book of Hebrews:

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Be encouraged :)

A Gospel-Centered Marriage, Part II: How We Made It

In my last post, I told you what a non gospel-centered marriage looks like via my own personal experiences. When it all boils down to it, it looks like selfishness and unbelief in the power of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Although Jeff and I had grown up "in the church" all our lives, we never connected the gospel to our everyday lives (i.e. lived it out). We were taught the gospel as a means of salvation but not that it is a life-changing, mind altering truth that causes a reformation in the whole person. We had spent all of our born again lives trying to manage our moral behavior, which did nothing more than cause a cycle of failure and led to more frustration than we could handle.

Four years ago, after being separated for 6 months, God graciously brought us back together and began the long process of healing our marriage. The next two years of initial restoration were fragile and shaky and in God's perfect plan, he allowed us to understand the implications of the gospel for the first time in our lives. Layer by layer, He stripped us of the religious pretension of behavior management and taught us the truth about His grace and what a gospel-centered life is like, therefore thrusting us into a gospel-centered marriage.

Marriage is the only relationship that bears the image of Christ and His Church. When I look at the marriage of Christ and His Church, the first thing I notice is sacrifice and humility. Jesus GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HIS CHURCH. He sacrificed everything--including His life--and constantly served His Spouse to the glory of God. The second thing I see is steadfastness/permanence. There is nothing Christ's Spouse can do to be separated from Him. He gave His life for Her so that she could be hid in Him for all eternity. The third thing I notice is His patience with His Spouse. No matter how many times She messes up, He bears with her FORGIVES her, and offers unending GRACE and LOVE to cover her multitude of sins. The culmination of all of these things equals love. True love. God-glorifying love.

And this is precisely what our marriages should look like.

God didn't leave us to ourselves to produce this kind of life on our own. When Christ ascended, He sent a Helper, who would reside in each saint and EMPOWER them to live this kind of life. That same Helper EMPOWERS us in our marriages so that we can adequately be image bearers of Christ and the Church as we are instructed to do.

I hope this post serves as encouragement to the saints of God as we carry on until Christ's return. I love you all.

***I've never written about the details of our separation, but we have shared the story extensively with others as a testament to God's grace in our lives. If you are struggling in your marriage and would like to know more about how we overcame our problems, please feel free to email me, and Jeff and I would be more than happy to share our story with you and walk with you to the path of redemption and restoration.